You won't get through TSA airport screening if you travel with any of these bizarre items

Replica Improvised Explosive Device (IED)
Where: Chicago O’Hare International Airport
What TSA had to say: Even if not real, replica or inert explosives are not allowed, at all, in carry-on or checked bags. Never. Nay. Nope. Negatory. Yeah, no ... While the actual item here looks a bit Wile E. Coyote-ish, the X-ray image was far more realistic ... When our officers spot a potential explosive on the X-ray monitor, they cannot just take the traveler’s word that the item is not real. A TSA Explosives Specialist or Police Department Bomb Squad must respond before the bag is ever opened. This can lead to costly evacuations, delays, and missed flights while explosives professionals determine whether the item is real or not. These types of items can lead to hefty fines and arrest… This replica Improvised Explosive Device (IED) was in a traveler’s carry-on bag at the Chicago O’Hare International Airport (ORD). As a result, the checkpoint was closed for a total of 19 minutes before the Chicago Police Bomb Squad was able to respond and clear the item.

Firearm concealed in a raw chicken
Where: Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport
What TSA had to say: There’s a personal fowl here … The plot chickens as we barrel our way closer to Thanksgiving. For us, it’s a time to be thankful that our officers are always working around the cluck to keep you safe. Take for instance this “hen you believe it?” find at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport. We hate to beak it to you here, but stuffing a firearm in your holiday bird for travel is just a baste of time. This idea wasn’t even half-baked; it was raw, greasy, and obviously unsupervised. The only roast happening here is this poor packing choice! Feather you like it or not, there are rules for traveling with guns and ammunition. So, don’t wing it; roost over the proper packaging info through the link in our bio.

Fentanyl in candy packaging
Where: Los Angeles International Airport
What TSA had to say:This isn’t a great trick or a treat! A huge kudos to our officers at LAX for making this gruesome discovery. Twelve thousand fentanyl pills were discovered in a carry-on bag packaged in some of our favorite candies. Next time you’re at the airport, please be patient with our officers. They’re doing their part to ensure you arrive at your destination safely. Follow more on this story through the link in our bio.

Gun shaped toilet paper holder
Where: Newark Liberty International Airport
What TSA had to say: Remember when toilet paper was a hot commodity? This gun shaped toilet paper holder was discovered at @EWRairport last year by a passenger who thought he could charm his way through security with it. Replica weapons of any kind are just not allowed in your carryon bag.

Bag of live eels
Where: Miami International Airport
What TSA had to say: These eels were discovered in a passenger’s checked bag at the Miami (MIA) International Airport. Among many other things, the passenger was attempting to transport 163 marine tropical fish and 22 invertebrates to Maracaibo (MAR). The passenger surrendered the items to the (U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service).

Sharpie shiv
Where: Huntsville International Airport
What TSA had to say: There’s nothing sharpie about that yellow marker. Somebody flying out of Huntsville International Airport wanted to take their makeshift fiberglass shiv in a carry-on (say that ten times fast). Should have stuck it in a checked bag instead.

Call of Duty replica Monkey Bomb
Where: Boston Logan Airport
What TSA had to say: Call of Duty ... Baggage Ops? Our officers (at Boston Logan International Airport) found a replica explosive in checked bags. Cool in-game, not so much in real life. Replica weapons/explosives aren't allowed in carry-on or checked bags.

Moose poop
Where: Juneau International Airport
What TSA had to say:Our team at Juneau International Airport (JNU) recently dealt with “nuggets” (that) ... upon inspection, (were) a large organic mass turned out to be a bag of moose nuggets (or feces, droppings, excrements, etc.) that the passenger was taking home from their Alaskan adventure. While TSA has no policies that would prevent you from traveling with a bag of animal (excrement), we would strongly suggest that you check with your airline on their policies. Several carriers do have rules in place to avoid smelly situations aboard their planes.

Live turtle in passenger’s pant
Where: Spokane International Airport
What TSA had to say: We weren’t anticipating this type of Thanksgiving stuffing … This little guy didn’t swim past our officers at GEG airport! They were in turtle awe to discover the pet hidden in a passenger’s pants worn during screening. There’s no need to make a screening event so-shelly awkward, we’ll screen your pets. Water you waiting for though, flipper on over to your airline for their rules first. Slow and steady wins the race!

Guns & ammo heels and belt
Where: Baltimore–Washington International Airport
What TSA had to say:It’s a bad idea to pack anything in your carry-on bag that looks like a firearm and ammo as it will slow things down for you and the travelers in line behind you. These shoes and bullet wrist bands were discovered in a carry-on bag recently at the Baltimore–Washington International Airport (BWI). While replicas are prohibited in carry-on bags, these shoes could have been packed in checked baggage.

Birds concealed under clothes
Where: Los Angeles International Airport
What TSA had to say: Two birds were discovered during a pat-down that was being administered due to bulky clothing at the Los Angeles International Airport (LAX). They were wrapped in socks and taped to the leg and chest of a woman who was traveling to China. (U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service) officers arrested the woman on suspicion of smuggling and exporting an endangered species out of the United States.

Snakes (almost on a plane)
Where: Miami International Airport
What TSA had to say: Somebody was snake-ing around here … There’s nothing ssssssensational about choosing to hide danger noodles in the pants you’re wearing. You could say, our officers at Miami International Airport weren’t enthused with this adder-ition to the screening process. We’d never want you to scale back on your asp-irations of traveling with pets, but would like to slither in this small bite of information. Never attempt to play hide a pet in your luggage, or on your person, and always rattle out an answer with your airline about what kind of pets they’ll allow. Our travel knowledge is never constricted to dark and hard to find places.

Seahorses in a liquor bottle
Where: Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County Airport
What TSA had to say: An oversized bottle of liquor was detected in a carry-on bag at Detroit (DTW). Not only was the large bottle of liquor prohibited, but so were the five dead endangered seahorses that were inside the bottle. Michigan Fish and Game responded and confiscated the bottle.

Dead baby shark in a jar
Where: Syracuse Hancock International Airport, New York
What TSA had to say: It was determined that the liquid was not water and instead the baby shark was floating in a liquid chemical preservative. The chemical was deemed to be considered a hazardous material and as such, was not permitted to be carried through the checkpoint. However, it is important to know that if someone wants to carry a live fish with them on their flight, they are permitted to do so if the fish is swimming in water. The liquid will need to undergo separate screening by a TSA officer before it is allowed to be carried through the checkpoint.

Chainsaw
Where:Albany International Airport
What TSA had to say: (In 2014) a traveler tried to bring a chainsaw through the checkpoint at the Albany International Airport (ALB). We’re not exactly sure why. Zombie defense, perhaps? Lumberjack goals?

Lipstick knife
Where:Nashville International Airport
What TSA had to say: You WON'T have a beautiful day if you try to bring this "lipstick" through airport security. Our officers at Nashville International Airport (BNA) recently discovered this lipstick knife in a carry-on bag at a security checkpoint. No matter the size, shape or intended use, knives are prohibited from being packed in your carry-on luggage. If you do have a knife that you'd like to bring along on your next trip, make sure you place it in your checked luggage. Otherwise, leave it behind.

Replica M18 Claymore mine
Where:Dulles International Airport
What TSA had to say: TSA Officers (at Dulles International Airport) discovered this replica M18 Claymore mine in late July. It should go without saying but replica explosives aren't allowed in either carry-on or checked bags.