Men are picking up 'attraction hobbies' to get dates. Does it work?

Be honest: Have you ever tried a new hobby, thinking it might make you more attractive and, even, score you some dates?

If you answered yes, you're not alone. According to a recent survey of 2,000 millennials and Gen Z-ers, 16% admitted to picking up "attraction hobbies" − or, hobbies aimed to boost one's attractiveness. These hobbies can be anything: tennis, creative writing, pottery. Whatever you think will make you seem more appealing.

The survey − commissioned by the language learning platform Babbel in partnership with Talker Research − found the trend holds especially true for young men, with 22% saying they've engaged in this form of performative dating, about double the rate of women.

The survey's results back up a phenomenon that's been called out on TikTok, where videos parodying so-called "performative men" have gone viral. These are videos making fun of guys who go to great (and often cringe-worthy) lengths to signal how sensitive, intellectual and emotionally attuned they are − without actually being any of those things. Think of the guys who have perfect vision but still wear glasses, sport only vintage clothing and clutch a copy of a Joan Didion book wherever they go. Their lives are basically a near-constant performance, all curated to show others − especially women − how enlightened they are.

The "performative male" phenomenon has taken the internet by storm − and there's even been performative men contests in person that have drawn huge crowds.

Turns out, the trend also reveals something deeper about the misguided strategies men, and all people, use to attract partners.

Daters, especially men, are picking up 'attraction hobbies.' Why?

The performative male trend is "sort of appealing to the female gaze," TikToker @ellabellaaa_ explains in a video, adding that the typical performative man "thinks he's not like other guys and that he's emotionally aware."

"There's been a shift from the alpha bro to a more chill, nice guy," the TikToker continues. "There is a trend for men to be more soft and fashion-forward."

Though a silly trend, the performative men phenomenon as well as the attraction hobbies data do hit on a deep truth about human nature, therapist Erik Anderson previously told USA TODAY: That there will always be a subset of people willing to engage in any behavior, no matter how ridiculous or inauthentic to them, so long as they think it will make them more attractive.

"There's interesting stuff to be said here from an evolutionary psychology approach," Anderson said. "The things that we believe and act out are often things that we're compelled to do for reasons that aren't apparent to us."

Unfortunately for performative daters, many attraction hobbies seem to come up short. For instance, according to the survey, 62% of people picked up fitness thinking it would make them more attractive. Yet, only 54% said they actually find fitness to be an attractive hobby. The largest gap appeared in video games, with 55% taking it up to become more attractive and only 36% finding it attractive.

Still, for some performative daters, attraction hobbies do work. After all, if this strategy never proved successful, why would anyone give it a shot in the first place?

"One of the ideas here is this wouldn't be behavior that we would see in humans if it wasn't something that had worked over our ancestral history," Anderson said, adding: "There's nothing inherently terrible at wanting to conform to what you think women would like in a man. But some of these guys really go far."

Are 'performative men,' 'attraction hobbies' here to stay?

People putting on performances in order to be deemed attractive and desirable has been happening since the dawn of humanity − and it's probably not something that will ever stop.

However, what these performances look like will likely shift as society's views and values do. As performative men become more a target of ridicule, these men will inevitably either drop the act or pick up a new one.

"If it becomes something that's socially lampooned − basically, if something's treated as extremely socially undesirable − suddenly you become an outgroup to a lot of people," Anderson said. "People are motivated to extinguish those behaviors that really identify them as an outgroup."

This goes for women too. Remember the rise of the "pick me" or "chill girl"? As more people mock that behavior, that performance will go by the wayside as well. And as these trends go out of style, hopefully people will start to bring more of their authentic selves into their relationships and all facets of their lives.