'Tell Me Lies' and why Gen Z is obsessed with sexy TV

In Los Angeles, bars are hosting watch parties for the highly anticipated weekly releases of "Tell Me Lies." And in New York City, more than 2,000 people have RSVP'd for an upcoming “Heated Rivalry” look-alike contest.

Both shows have captivated young viewers enough to create a cultural moment rarely seen outside of sports in today's couch-potato, streaming-friendly TV era: They're getting people out of the house to gather with other fans.

These shows are also hot, filled with sex scenes, body parts and forbidden and fiery romantic interactions.

And yet, research shows Gen Z − the cohort born in the years 1997 to 2012 − is having less sex than earlier generations.

For young viewers who aren’t engaging in sex themselves but are seeking out emotional validation and connection, these stories may help fill a gap, says Virginia Gramarosso, 25, a Chicagoland health educator who works with middle schoolers, high schoolers and young adults.

Gramarosso says that just because studies show Gen Z is having less sex doesn't mean they're not interested in and curious about sex.

“I think they still have desires related to sex. ... Consuming that media might almost fill that void," Gramarosso says.

Why Gen Z is having less sex

Research shows a general decline in teens and young adults engaging in sexual activity. In 2023, 32% of teens said they had sex, compared with 47% of teens in 2013, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The trend extends to older Gen Zers, too − about 24% of adults ages 18 to 29 had no sex in the past year, a figure that has doubled since 2010, according to a study from the Institute for Family Studies (IFS). 

Emily Morehead, a Texas-based licensed professional counselor with expertise in sex and relationships, praised “smutty” entertainment for the way it can serve as a conversation-starter for young people.

When formal sex education is lacking or inconsistent, especially about LGBTQ+ sexual health, she says, young people use what’s around them – television, books, social media − to fill in the gap.

“I think Gen Z is craving information, and if the only media that they're getting representation with is social media or porn, they're not learning about real-life sex and real-life relationships that are safe and consensual and pleasurable,” Morehead says.

Gramarosso adds that for some viewers, watching sex on TV can offer a sense of control that real-life dating doesn’t amid ghosting, constant swiping on apps and social pressures. 

“I think that the media can tie into that because they have an outlet for still engaging and almost expressing and connecting to their sexual wants and needs and questions without actually having to go out and talk to people and date people,” Gramarosso says.

Gen Zers’ sex lives and dating style reflect a deeper trend of risk aversion − young people are also drinking less. Though those things can be positive, they’re also indicators that some Gen Zers may be socially isolated. Much of Gen Z missed out on pivotal years in the classroom or office during the COVID-19 pandemic, which hurt their ability to socialize.

This follows a general trend of people reporting less desire to get married and have families at a young age.

When 'sexy entertainment' becomes mainstream

Morehead says sexy entertainment has become more popular as Hollywood and the publishing industry have modernized how we speak about female pleasure. Both “Heated Rivalry” and “Tell Me Lies” are based on book series. 

Claire Mazur, one of the founders of romance entertainment company 831 Stories, told USA TODAY that spicy romance is now a “mainstream form of sex content” that’s a direct “counterpoint to porn culture.” 

People may also be watching these shows as much for the intimacy as they are for the sex. For many viewers, the plot lines feel human, flawed and real.

With “Tell Me Lies,” for example, a lot of viewers relate to the sentiment of knowing a person isn’t good for you but struggling to walk away. 

Where “Heated Rivalry” succeeds, Morehead notes, is in depicting sex and love in a way that shows communication and consent.

Experts say it’s important to remind young people that while it’s great to enjoy types of media, they cannot replace genuine social and emotional connection.

“Watching relationships and watching these things play out cannot be in place of experiencing and living and creating relationships themselves,” Gramarosso says.

Contributing: Clare Mulroy, Pamela Avila and Kelly Lawler

Rachel Hale’s role covering Youth Mental Health at USA TODAY is supported by a partnership with Pivotal and Journalism Funding Partners. Funders do not provide editorial input. Reach her at [email protected] and@rachelleighhale on X.

(This story was updated to add a video.)