She went no-contact with her adult son. Now she's uplifting other estranged parents.

Kendall Williams, 53, won't be seeing her youngest son this Mother's Day. But that's nothing new.

Williams has been estranged from her son, who is 30, since September 2023, when she decided to cut off contact because she felt the relationship had become unhealthy and emotionally abusive. USA TODAY contacted her son, who declined to comment on his relationship with his mother.

"It wasn't an easy decision," Williams said. "I absolutely love both of my sons."

She's still close with her eldest son, who is 35. But she's not convinced she'll ever be in a place where she can resume a relationship with her youngest. She has written two books on the subject and frequently posts about her estrangement on her social media platforms. Others often judge her, but those people don't understand the whole story, she said.

"I had to step away from our relationship for my own well-being because I was also diagnosed with cervical cancer that same year," Williams told USA TODAY. "I had to really focus on my health, instead of putting all of my focus on him, which I've done for many, many years."

More people have come forward in recent years about setting boundaries with family members − and even cutting off family members entirely. A 2025 YouGov poll found 38% of Americans are estranged from at least one member of their family, and 10% are estranged from their child. But while adult children are often lauded for "protecting their peace" by estranging themselves from their parents or siblings, Williams said mothers are villainized for doing the same.

Accusations of emotional abuse are a common reason for family estrangement, said Lucy Blake, a psychologist and family estrangement researcher from the United Kingdom. People often describe being yelled at, manipulated and called names. Those behaviors can be just as hurtful to someone's life and well-being as physical abuse, she said.

"And often, emotional abuse happens when there are other kinds of abuse happening as well," she said.

"Don't take feeling unsafe lightly," Williams said, adding that she had a friend, Rosemary Slaughter Pate, who was murdered by her child in Florida, even after the friend reached out to authorities and tried to get the child help. "Don't be like, 'That's my kid, they would never hurt me.' Take it seriously."

'Our expectations of mothers are so high'

Mother's Day can be a hard day "for so many people, for so many different reasons," Blake said. Tina Gilbertson, a therapist who specializes in family estrangement, works mostly with parents who have been cut off by their children. It's more common than people think, Gilbertson said, and can cause a lot of grief, especially on holidays.

"There's a really strong, unrealistic expectation that mothers are always nurturing for their children, no matter what," Gilbertson said. "And it's an ideal that I don't think any human can live up to."

Mothers often bear the brunt of keeping a family and household running, sometimes without much support, Blake said. "Our expectations of mothers are so high," she said.

She said it's "bold and courageous" for mothers like Williams to share their stories of estrangement, and she hopes it "might be a real solace" for other mothers out there who are experiencing the same thing.

"I think there is this expectation of parents literally doing anything for their children, and withstanding any kind of emotional pain," Blake said.

Because moms are often seen as "servants to everyone around them," Williams said, the moment a mother decides to take care of herself over others, "it's always frowned upon."

When it comes to her son, Williams said, things have gotten easier as time has gone on. She has grown accustomed to him not being part of her life.

"I have peace with this. There are times that I do miss my son, I do. But I have peace right now," she said, adding that her health and mental well-being are her priority now, especially as someone who is in cancer remission.

"I just want moms to be able to have a voice," she said. "(So) that mothers no longer have to suffer in silence, and they don't have to live in shame when they don't have these idealistic pictures of what their relationship with their children should be."

Setting healthy expectations for Mother's Day

Mother's Day posts on social media can be hard for mothers who are struggling with estrangement, Blake said, whether they or their child initiated going no-contact.

"What we're seeing that day is not reflective of everyone's full human experience," Blake said. "People are rarely sharing their experiences of tension, disappointment, heartache, betrayal, loss."

Though those are things everyone experiences in their relationships, Blake said, people are much more likely to post moments of togetherness and curated images of bliss on social media. But it's important to recognize that estrangement isn't rare, she said.

Gilbertson suggests making a plan for the day, whether it's running errands, seeing a friend or making a nice meal.

"It's OK to have that grief," Gilbertson said. "This is a sad time. It's a reminder of the disconnect."

Madeline Mitchell's role covering women and the caregiving economy at USA TODAY is supported by a partnership with Pivotal and Journalism Funding Partners. Funders do not provide editorial input.

Reach Madeline at [email protected] and @maddiemitch_ on X.