'Wildflowering' is a new dating term that sounds sweet. Don't be fooled

Spring is in bloom − and so is a controversial new dating term.

While so many dating terms aim to define and clarify every micro-aspect of a relationship, "wildflowering" is all about the opposite. When you wildflower, you let a relationship unfold completely organically. That means no timelines, labels, definitions or expectations.

In other words, you let the connection bloom like a wildflower. Free, untamed and beautiful. Right?

Well, not necessarily. Yes, there are some wonderful aspects to wildflowering − ones which modern daters, steeped in arbitrary rules and overthinking, could definitely enjoy. But there's also some pitfalls.

Those who wildflower risk being led on or taken advantage of by those treating the trend as merely excuse to not commit, set clear boundaries or adhere to any standards.

Amy Chan, a dating coach and the author of "Unsingle: How to Date Smarter and Create Love that Lasts," says the trend has some good to it but is not right for everyone. And knowing what kind of dater you are is crucial before deciding to throw out all dating wisdom in the pursuit of wildflowering.

"If you’re someone who tends to future-trip on a first or second date, wondering if this person could be your partner or the parent of your children, or you’re asking interview-style questions to see if they fit a checklist in your head, then you probably would benefit from taking a more relaxed approach," she says. "But if you’re on the opposite side, where you’re great at getting dates one and two but never let connections deepen, and you avoid commitment or labels because intimacy feels uncomfortable, then 'going with the flow' may actually be keeping you stuck."

Where wildflowering goes wrong

Wildflowering flies contrary to a lot of people's personal philosophies when it comes to dating. Instead of "dating to marry" or "DTR-ing" (defining the relationship) early, those who wildflower opt to just go with the flow.

"You see dating as a process where you practice curiosity, get to know yourself along the way, and through dating different people, you get clearer on what you want," Chan says.

For some daters, that's exactly what they need. But, for others, they'd prefer to know, before going with the flow, that the flow is, indeed, going somewhere.

Damona Hoffman, a dating coach and the author of "F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story," believes wildflowering speaks to the stress modern daters experience. So much of dating today happens online. Many daters are left navigating seas of profiles on apps where they're texting several matches at once − a communication style which evolution did not equip us for.

Wildflowering isn't just a rejection of timelines and labels. It's also a rejection of the controlled, artificial vibe so many associate with online dating.

"It seems to have emerged as a reaction to something that I hate, the gamification of dating," Hoffman says. Yet, she adds, the trend "potentially sets you up for disappointment down the road, if you have no framework, no guidelines, no standards for how you want something to unfold romantically."

Her advice? Embrace spontaneity and clarity. In other words, be willing to let a romantic connection surprise you − but also know what you want your ideal relationship to look like.

Want to wildflower? This is the biggest thing to keep in mind

In an overwhelming dating landscape, many feel there's only two options: Either grab onto control, defining every square inch of the dating process, or, surrender to the chaos and let the chips fall where they may. Wildflowerers tend toward the latter.

But, in order to know if wildflowering is right for you, you have to know yourself. Are you the type of dater who struggles with rigidity? Does your relationshopping list span a mile, or more? Then embracing the spirit of wildflowering could work for you.

"It depends on what your historical patterns are. There are some people who jump into a relationship too quickly," Chan says. "These are the ones that would benefit from taking the wildflowering approach."

But, if you're already a free spirit, stumbling into relationships blindly and then scratching your head when they don't work out, then it might be time to get more intentional and decisive.

"Then there’s those on the other side of the extreme, where they wildflower a little too much − jumping from person to person and never really allowing a connection to deepen," Chan says. "These are the ones where some structure and commitment could benefit them."