Stephen Colbert's Emmy MUST be revoked. Dissent from the left is not allowed. | Opinion

So the VERY NOT FUNNY liberal late night host Stephen Colbert, whom nobody watches and whose show was recently CANCELED for being LAME, won an Emmy for outstanding talk series.

Now, by the power vested in me as a true American, I hereby revoke that Emmy and demand Colbert return it to Bryan Cranston, the actor who gave it to him during the Sept. 14 awards show that I did not watch because I hate Hollyweird.

Colbert is a longtime critic of our great president, Donald J. Trump. As a fierce free speech advocate, I cannot tolerate dissent, so I demand the immediate revocation of the Emmy and an immediate “re-announcement of cancellation” of the talk show host’s “Late Show” from CBS’ parent company, Paramount.

Colbert was rightly fired by Trump – I mean Paramount

In July, while company officials were waiting on the Federal Communications Commission to approve an $8 billion merger between Paramount Global and Skydance Media, Colbert’s show got the ax, something Trump celebrated by posting: “I absolutely love that Colbert' got fired. His talent was even less than his ratings.”

Amen, Mr. President! As a constitutional conservative, I will never stand for federal overreach or for the government picking winners and losers, unless it involves a smart aleck who doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut and respect our leader.

Colbert, whom I don't like, quotes Prince, whom I also don't like

During his Emmy acceptance speech, Colbert said, “I have never loved my country more desperately. God bless America. Stay strong, be brave, and if the elevator tries to bring you down, go crazy and punch a higher floor.”

Whatever, lib. I know that last part is a quote from Prince, and because you said it, I’m going to condemn it and not bother researching the late rock star’s politics or religious beliefs because context is for socialists.

By the rules of MAGA free speech, Colbert must return the Emmy

Along with the voiding of Colbert’s Emmy, I’m also calling for the immediate firing of anyone who celebrated Colbert’s Emmy win, or said nice things about his speech, or said anything at all critical about his show’s cancellation.

We cannot tolerate dangerous, pro-late-night-host views that might inspire other comedians to commit acts of leftist satire. Our right to free speech is far too precious to give to just anyone.

Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk