Cruises seem gross and awful. Why are they popular? Tell us. | Opinion

I was born and raised in Florida, home to the world’s busiest cruise-ship ports. While I abide by most of the rules native Floridians must follow – I know the complete Jimmy Buffett discography, I’ve been to Disney World enough times to hate it, I’ve been uncomfortably close to an alligator – I have never understood cruises.

I was reminded of this for the one millionth time while reading about three recent deaths suspected to be from hantavirus, a virus carried by rodents, aboard a cruise ship sailing the Atlantic Ocean. Others onboard have gotten sick, and as of May 4, the ship is anchored near the West African nation of Cape Verde with about 150 passengers still on board.

Call me a cruise coward, but that does not sound like a fun vacation. But maybe I'm wrong. This is your opportunity to help me understand with our form below.

All cruises sound to me like disasters waiting to happen

For as much as I hear about people loving to go on all-inclusive cruises, scenic cruises or booze cruises, I also hear about cruises that swiftly devolve into the basic starting scenario of most zombie movies. Someone gets sick, everybody’s trapped in close quarters so others start getting sick, then nobody is allowed to leave because, if they come back to shore, the rest of humanity will face a zombie apocalypse. Or something along those lines.

In March 2025, more than 200 passengers and crewmembers on a luxury cruise from England to the Caribbean got sick in a norovirus outbreak. At that time, USA TODAY reported that there had already been “12 outbreaks of gastrointestinal illness on cruises that met” the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s threshold for public notification that year.

People who enjoy cruises know they can do the same stuff on land, right?

It seems ailments from COVID-19 to diarrhea enjoy hitting the high seas with human hosts packed into the floating equivalent of an extravagant sardine can. Who would’ve imagined?

Well, I’ll tell you who – me. There has been no point in my life when I thought: Gee, I’d love to get on board a boat with hundreds or thousands of other sweaty humans and drink and eat too much in the middle of the ocean. That sounds like a scientist staring at a bacteria-filled petri dish and thinking, “Wish I could dive in and roll around in that agar.”

There are plenty of land-based all-inclusives. Who needs a boat?

Admittedly, I have never set foot on a cruise ship. But I have been to lots of places on land where you can hang out poolside, get loads of free food and drinks and generally party, relax or watch your kids behave irresponsibly on water slides. 

To me, those places have a comforting “I can walk away from all this if necessary” vibe, as opposed to a cruise ship and its inherent “I’m stuck on a floating vessel with hundreds of vomiting people, and I’m really questioning my life choices” vibe.

Kind of a no-brainer choice, if you ask me.

What it is about cruises that keeps you coming back for more? Tell us below.

In the interest of fairness, and because I tend to be wrong about most things, I’d like to hear from cruise enthusiasts and learn what it is about these “vacations” that makes them worth the risk of quarantine. Does something magical happen when you’re at sea that makes you laugh in the face of sickness? Is everybody who comes on board granted one wish from a vacation fairy?

I honestly don’t know. Please help me and others in the cruise-averse community understand why cruises shouldn’t be banned like asbestos.

Tell us using the form below, send us an email to [email protected] with the subject line "Forum cruises" or “I love cruises” (if that's your thing), or leave us a voicemail at (202) 655-3923. We may reach out to you about your response. We'll publish a collection of your answers in an upcoming column.

Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk.