Getting an ADHD diagnosis helped my world make sense | Opinion

I failed my sixth grade science fair project. Not because I didn’t follow the scientific method, or because I didn’t understand the science behind testing cleaning supplies to see which was the most effective at ridding countertops of bacteria.

It was because I put off doing the project for a month when I couldn’t decide on a question.

This incident was not the last time my procrastination got the best of me. There were plenty of times I put off projects and essays until the last minute, telling myself that I’d be able to do everything in a single night. Yet my teachers and my parents didn’t notice that anything was wrong. After all, I was still getting good grades.

However, there were still signs that something wasn't right. Aside from procrastination, I would often find myself in class staring out at the distant mountains, thinking about everything but the lesson in front of me. I had a hard time completing tasks. In my personal life, I would often find that my energy levels were higher than those of the people around me, and I would interrupt people constantly.

If only we knew then what we know now and what researchers have uncovered in a new study on attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder.

My ADHD diagnosis immediately helped the world make sense

Then came college. I attended one of the best schools in North Carolina, and quickly learned that high school had not prepared me for the academic rigor of my classes. Any other person would just study harder. I found myself unable to turn in assignments at all. I wanted to do them, but I would struggle to find stories and put off doing my projects until there was no more time to do them.

Once, during finals season, I remember sitting at a desk in the library drawing while everyone around me studied. I knew I should be following their example, but I just couldn't get started.

I began suspecting that I had ADHD. I even sought out testing, only to hit a wall when I couldn’t get an assessment on campus. 

This all came to a head when I was in my first job. I was so excited to be a journalist, yet I’d sit at my desk for hours without typing a single word. I had so many ideas, but trying to articulate them on the page was a Sisyphean task. I felt that I could never find the right words.

Then came the COVID-19 pandemic, and days spent at home in isolation with my roommates and cat. Things were getting worse. I talked to my psychiatrist, and she performed an assessment. When she gave me the diagnosis, all of these shortfalls made sense.

I wasn't lazy or unmotivated – there was literally something happening in my brain that kept me from locking in to my work, that made me focus on everything else. The failed sixth grade science project suddenly made sense – it's not that I wanted to put it off, it's that I didn't know how to start it, or stay focused on it.

What I want ADHD researchers to know about me

In a new study, scientists assessed 1,154 brain scans of children and concluded that there are three distinct forms of ADHD: primarily inattentive, primarily hyperactive-impulsive, and combined. The first two are pretty self-explanatory. The third, which affects more areas of the brain than the other types, is characterized by emotional dysregulation.

I’m not sure what specific type of ADHD I have, but I know how having it affects me. Now, I'm curious as to what my diagnosis actually is, and the areas where it affects my life beyond the professional realm. Where do I fall in this expanded spectrum?

I wake up, and my inner monologue immediately starts. Statements in my head overlap, so that one sentence is never finished before the next one begins. When I don’t take my medication – 27 mg of Concerta – this continues for the remainder of the day.

Even when I take my meds, I struggle to start tasks. I struggle to finish them. I am easily distracted, love to interrupt and am incredibly impulsive, as exemplified by my credit card bill. I have a deep-rooted fear of rejection, and have outsized reactions to breakups and friend drama. Often, the act of writing – the thing I love to do, the thing I do for a living – makes me want to jump out of my skin.

I struggle to see any of these symptoms as anything other than negative, which I know is unfair to myself. I get frustrated by my own thought patterns, wondering why I can’t just have “a normal brain.” My therapist and loved ones have encouraged me to reframe my thinking; I can’t help that I process the world differently from other people.

I wish I could tell the researchers studying ADHD that these things aren't just facts about nebulous people who don't exist in real life, nor does it only affect children. In the United States, 6% of adults have an ADHD diagnosis, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. These symptoms affect me and millions of others every day and make it hard to function like everyone else.

What advice would I give to my younger self?

I’m far from the only person to get diagnosed with ADHD in recent years. Trilliant Health reported in April a 53.3% increase in stimulant prescriptions from 2018 to 2024. Among women ages 18-44 during this time period, there was a 93.6% increase.

With this surge in diagnoses comes a predictable refrain: that most people are faking it. President Donald Trump’s administration is not helping. Under Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the Department of Health and Human Services has declared that children are overdiagnosed and overmedicated, adding to the stigma that people with ADHD face. 

Sure, it’s possible there are some misdiagnoses, but the increase in diagnoses is more likely attributed to the fact that, as we learn more about the way ADHD presents itself, girls and children of color are being diagnosed at higher rates.

It sounds trite to say, but being diagnosed with ADHD made a lot of things make sense for me, and the subsequent treatments for it have made a huge difference in what I’m able to accomplish in a given day. It made it easier for me to do my job, to have relationships, to move through the world. I still struggle, but life feels more manageable. 

For those who think they might have ADHD, there is no harm in getting an assessment done and it’s never too late to get a diagnosis. You will grieve the time you lost to it, but you will never regret getting clarity.

I often think about how my life would be different had I been diagnosed younger – would I have gotten my assignments done with time to spare? Would I have excelled in college, instead of barely scraping by? Would I have focused on school, gotten good grades, landed my dream internships? Would I have spent fewer nights crying because I felt I was "too dumb" to be at the college I got into?

I wish I could tell my younger self that it is OK that your brain works differently from other people's. Sometimes I wish that someone had sat me down and told me that the things I hated about myself weren't my fault – it's just the way I was created. It doesn't mean I'm dumb or lazy, it just means that I have to work differently than the other people in my life – and yes, that does mean that some things are more difficult for me than they are for my peers.

Getting a diagnosis doesn't immediately fix you, but it does offer some clarity and peace of mind knowing that there are things beyond your control affecting your life. I've had to learn to work with my ADHD, instead of against it. Things aren't perfect – I'm still working on my procrastination and staying focused – but knowing that I have ADHD has helped me better understand myself. I'm learning to give myself grace, and I'm a lot kinder to myself now than I was as a child who didn't know how to start my science fair project.

Follow USA TODAY columnist Sara Pequeño on Bluesky: @sarapequeno.bsky.social